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第7章 再胜

　　'Yes,' she said, 'and I have just finished it.'

　　I now stood in the empty hall; before me was the breakfast-roomdoor, and I stopped, intimidated and trembling. What a miserablelittle poltroon had fear, engendered of unjust punishment, made ofme in those days! I feared to return to the nursery, and feared togo forward to the parlour; ten minutes I stood in agitated hesitation;the vehement ringing of the breakfast-room bell decided me; I mustenter.

　　'I am not your dear; I cannot lie down: send me to school soon,Mrs. Reed, for I hate to live here.'

　　'Sometimes.'

　　Mrs. Reed soon rallied her spirits: she shook me most soundly,she boxed both my ears, and then left me without a word. Bessiesupplied the hiatus by a homily of an hour's length, in which sheproved beyond a doubt that I was the most wicked and abandoned childever reared under a roof. I half believed her; for I felt indeedonly bad feelings surging in my breast.

　　'Madam, allow me an instant. You are aware that my plan in bringingup these girls is, not to accustom them to habits of luxury andindulgence, but to render them hardy, patient, self-denying. Shouldany little accidental disappointment of the appetite occur, such asthe spoiling of a meal, the under or the over dressing of a dish,the incident ought not to be neutralised by replacing with somethingmore delicate the comfort lost, thus pampering the body andobviating the aim of this institution; it ought to be improved tothe spiritual edification of the pupils, by encouraging them to evincefortitude under the temporary privation. A brief address on thoseoccasions would not be mistimed, wherein a judicious instructorwould take the opportunity of referring to the sufferings of theprimitive Christians; to the torments of martyrs; to theexhortations of our blessed Lord Himself, calling upon His disciplesto take up their cross and follow Him; to His warnings that manshall not live by bread alone, but by every word tha

　　'Benefactress! benefactress!' said I inwardly: 'they all callMrs. Reed my benefactress; if so, a benefactress is a disagreeablething.'

　　'Abominable stuff! How shameful!'

　　'In what way is he peculiar?'